Estate Planning: An Inside/Outside Job
Estate planning isn’t just about documents—it’s about decisions, people, and peace of mind.
Why do most families engage in estate planning?
In nearly every initial estate planning meeting, clients tend to answer this question the same way: “I want to avoid probate and minimize taxes.” Soon after, they add: “I don’t want my kids to fight, and I don’t want their spouses or creditors to get their inheritance.”
But if we dig a little deeper, what are clients really saying?
First, they want privacy and control over their estate. They want their plans kept confidential. Second, they want peace in the family. They hope their children—and only their children and descendants—will benefit from the legacy they've worked hard to build.
The Outside Job: What the State Decides for You
Most people are surprised to learn that the State of Hawaii already has an estate plan for every resident.
For minors, incapacitated individuals, or disabled persons, the state can appoint a guardian or custodian to handle personal and financial matters. When someone passes away, their estate may go through probate—a public court process where a judge decides who administers the estate and who receives what, all based on a predetermined legal formula.
This “default” estate plan exists because fewer than 1 in 3 people ever create their own. While the state’s system serves an essential purpose, it comes with significant downsides:
It's public—your family’s private matters are available for anyone to see.
It's often costly, time-consuming, and stressful.
It’s a one-size-fits-all solution that may not reflect your values or intentions.
The Inside Job: A Thoughtful, Personal Approach
By creating your own estate plan, you take back control. Through tools like a Revocable Living Trust, Durable Power of Attorney, and Health Care Directive, families can avoid probate, preserve privacy, and make decisions that fit their specific needs and values.
At Yim & Yempuku, we walk each client through a personalized process to create an estate plan that reflects their unique situation. But we don’t stop there. We also conduct a Funding Meeting to ensure that your assets—bank accounts, real estate, retirement accounts, and more—are properly titled and aligned with your estate plan.
We carefully review each asset with the client, considering:
Your intentions
Simplicity and convenience
Cost and tax efficiency (income, estate, gift, and capital gains taxes)
Flexibility
Probate avoidance
Minimizing future conflict
Preserving family relationships
The Deeper Inside Job: Preparing the People, Not Just the Paperwork
Once the estate plan is signed and funded, we continue with what we call the inside job—helping families minimize the risk of conflict and misunderstanding down the road.
This begins with a Family Meeting. Here, parents can explain what they’ve done and why, and express their expectations for the future. We often encourage parents to open the meeting with a simple, powerful statement:
“Our most important goal is for our children to get along.”
While it may seem obvious, this goal is rarely spoken aloud—and saying it can make a meaningful impact.
During the family meeting, we focus on three key takeaways:
Disagreements are normal. Family members may have different views on medical or long-term care decisions. That’s okay. The key is respectful communication and collaboration.
There may not be a perfect answer. Often, there’s no ideal solution—just better choices made with thoughtful, informed judgment. The children’s role is to understand and honor their parents’ wishes and work together as a team.
Resources are available. We help families identify tools, professionals, and support systems to help navigate tough moments.
Most importantly, these meetings reduce surprises. It’s not about "how much" the children will receive, but about why things are structured the way they are—and what the parents hope for their family.
Estate Planning Is Ongoing
Everything in life changes—families, health, laws, and finances. That’s why we recommend reviewing your estate plan every 2 to 3 years (roughly every 4th to 6th dental visit).
We also encourage families to revisit the Family Meeting during those check-ins. Think of it as practice—because one day, it won’t be practice. It will be real.
-Stephen B. Yim, Esq.